"Total World Peace Day Event"

 

Is there a time in this world when we have been without a single war or conflict taking place? Some sort of truce for a day or so! Or will there be a day, in the future, when that will happen again?

Well, with the Obama peace prize, maybe yes, maybe not. What is certain is that it hasn't happened of late. And yes, we have the world peace day, but it is observed more so by the UN member states. We don't have a world peace day, recognized by all of mankind; including the suicide bombers in Iraq, Taliban in Afghanistan, the pirates in Somali and all other groups or persons in any conflict.

But I can imagine the day it will happen. It will be one day for a start, then two or more in a year. Man will finally look at solving his problems differently; more humanely perhaps.

Maybe, that day Osama Bin Laden will release a video-tape claiming world-peace. Uncle Sam will scream, “Up your @##!” before opening his “football” and waiting for something to trigger his trigger; forgetting the peace prize for a minute. He will then get a phone call from the CIA, that certain Al Qaeda operatives have surrendered a nuke in LA. This will jolt him to realize that a truce is really in the offing.

Uncle Sam, currently “played” by Obama, the winner of this year’s peace prize, will then call-back all his troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. He will tell the Iraqi's, that they are a free country, after all. They can decide what they want, now that previous enemies are turning to friends. The Sunnis and Shiites will rush for the weapons left by the Americans and prepare to kill one another.

Someone will, in true Hollywood style, appear with the “Osama tape” and video-recorder and plead with the warring parties, to allow him to play the tape. He will be put to task to explain how he expects anyone to watch the tape without a power source and TV set. And just when he's about to be killed, someone will appear with a TV and generator. The warring parties will watch the tape and burst out laughing before getting serious and pointing guns at one another once again. Some kid will suddenly run across and change the TV channel to show a news telecast. Uncle Sam and Osama will be hugging and crying in the process. The men will throw their weapons down and embrace.

Kim Jong-Il, or the leader at the time, will get a phone call. What he hears will prompt him to quarrel at first. He will then hang up and call his top intelligence officers and ask them what they think is up Uncle Sam's sleeve. He will swear he recognizes the mischievous smile Uncle Sam had, on TV this morning.

Perhaps, he will consider it a new arms-race of sorts and call BBC, claiming it was his idea in the first place. He will be informed that China called in an hour earlier and actually patented it.

The Russian prime-minister will be hurriedly woken up in the middle of the night. He will be pissed off, at having to break his dream. He will swear that if whatever it is, isn't good enough, he will proceed to “dismantle” whoever brought it up. He will then be briefed on everything; what Osama and the others did earlier on, including North Korea, India, Pakistan and Iran.

He will ask for some Vodka and drink himself silly. After all it's either a very big joke or the weapons-race and wars are indeed over. When he sobers up, he will call the Russian president and ask him to confirm with Uncle Sam, if they will stop the new arms-race in space too. Uncle Sam will get the phone-call and ask the Russian president, what his country has done to add to this spirit of forgiveness. The president will be non-committal and promise to call back. He will later suggest a world celebration event; for the world has never celebrated world-peace as a whole unit. He will then proceed and offer a lot of Russian Vodka, some for free and some for sale. Uncle Sam, currently the coveted owner of the Obama peace prize, will suspect right-away that subsidies have been paid somewhere. He will request to provide half the booze for the bash. Then he will ask to continue the conversation on Russia's real input to world-peace.

Meanwhile, Israel's prime-minister will be trying to reach Uncle Sam, the whole day. “What's the meaning of all this?” he will ask. In the end of it all, he will be thinking “assassination!” “This can't be happening to the owner of the Obama peace prize!” He will yell to his intelligence council. Then the Palestinian president will knock on the Israeli premier’s bedroom door and enter, fully armed with an AK-47 rifle. The prime-minister will cringe; knowing this could as well be the end, prompting laughter from the Palestinian president. The Palestine leader will explain to his Israeli counter part that he always wanted to do that, before throwing the gun down and embracing the Israeli premier; who will in turn kneel on the ground and start to worship. The Palestinian president will do likewise and exclaim, “Hey! I never thought of that.” He will then proceed and worship Allah.

Very soon there will be a very big bash organized by Germany; after the communists and capitalists agree on this choice. This will be after rejecting the UN (United Nations) assembly hall and the international space-station, because of its connection with the United States of America.

All arrangements for the bash will soon be ready. Security personnel from, especially, the superpowers and so called “axis of evil” countries will proceed to frisk each other. Everyone will be relieved of any offensive weapon. They will be put in a safety box. Then each of these countries' representatives will proceed to lock the box using their own locking devices. The world leaders—now holed up in their respective hotel rooms—will then be requested to start their journeys to the bash.

During the meal, a big bowl of food will be blended in front of the congregation and then one paid tester will taste the food. This will be done for the all the foods served that day.

It will soon be speech time. There will be an issue when Uncle Sam—adorned in a shirt with Obama Peace prize printed in the front—stands up to make a speech. The Russians will ask why the US has to be first. This will start the debate on who speaks before whom. It will only be settled after they agree that speeches will be chosen through secret-ballot.

Russia will start an interesting topic by reminding the house that whoever thought that they could have exclusive rights to make nukes was a big dreamer. Then they will proceed to admit that their bombs lacked one crucial thing. A detonator! Yes, you heard them right! Those “mean” gadgets could not do a thing; even if they wanted. Uncle Sam will stand up and say he never thought of that. Having nukes with no detonators was actually a way of preventing wars. Then the US will admit that their bombs could only fly in circles.

But India will beat them all. They will confess that they didn't even have the bomb in the first place. Those big blasts they had underground, sometime back, were actually firecrackers that they saved in 1983, when they didn't celebrate, “Diwali." For those not in the know, this is the the Hindu festival held between September and November; usually featuring many lights and firecrackers.

Well, this is just an excerpt from my new book “The end.” Please note that no offence was intended. It is just part of my wild imagination. It’s not bad to think of world peace is it? Especially if all I’m thinking of is a world “total” peace event for a day or two, or even just one week. What harm will it do those in conflicts? To read sample chapters of the book ne click here.

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